Am I hopped on thy knees, yet not at ease?                          31

Sunk in thy bosom, yet thy heart not meet?

Lodged in thy arms yet all thing little please?

Sung sweetly, yet find not this singing sweet?

Set at thy table, yet scare taste a dish                                   35

Delicious? Hugged, yet seldom gain a kiss?

Why, Lord, why thus? Shall I question call

All relation to thyself? I know

It is no gay to please a child withal

But is the ground whence privileges flow.                            40

Then ope the sluice: let something spout on me.

Then I shall in better temper be.

The closing stanzas now continue with the petition.  Line 41 begins a series of balanced questions: If I possess such a state, then why do I not experience the benefit of that state?

The images all revolve around the state of being a child:

Sitting on a parent’s lap, held against the chest, arms folded around the child, a lullaby sung to child. Then, the child is at the table; then hugged. But the child is not at ease, his heart is troubled. There is food, but nothing to eat. I am hugged, but not kissed.

The structure of the questions is emphasized by starting each line with an accented syllable from line 32 through 36.

This leads to the existential query

Why, Lord, why thus?

Why do I know myself to be in this relationship to you, Lord; and still do not experience the benefits and joys of that relationship? What has gone wrong?

Shall I question call

All relation to thyself? I know

It is no gay to please a child withal

But is the ground whence privileges flow.

Should I question my relationship to you? It is not a trifle (a gay, “nosegay”?) to distract a child. To be in a relationship with you is a claim, a ground for privileges. He is pleading here the promise of 1 Corinthians 3:22-23, “All things are yours … and you are Christ’s.”

The poem is pray based upon a promise: Here God is a promise. You promise to that all things are mine, and that I am Christ’s. If I am Christ’s, if I am a child in my father’s lap, then I plead the promise, the status: This is the ground upon which I claim my privilege:

Then ope the sluice: let something spout on me.

Then I shall in better temper be.

Open to me your grace, let me experience you grace, then I will not continue to be so distraught. This poem is interesting because it ends with poet less hopeful than many other poems. He is distraught at the end. He plainly says he is in a poor temper.

I find this interesting because it shows the honesty of these meditations. To end on this note is not a public posture of piety or godliness. The tone is almost surly. I say it is “honest”, not because a negative expression is more honest, but because one would display this unhappiness as a show of piety or godliness.

There is a false piety which is always pleased. But the Scripture is filled with such wrestling. “How long O Lord, will you forget about me forever?”

We should note that Taylor has not despaired. He merely feels God is distant, and that distance merely draws him to plead with God. The difficulty drives him to seek relief from God.