Edward Taylor Meditation 26

Reference, Acts 5:31

³¹ God exalted him at his right hand as Leader and Savior, to give repentance to Israel and forgiveness of sins.

My noble Lord, thy nothing servant I

Am for thy sake out with my heart, that holds,

So little love for such a Lord: I cry

How should I be but angry thus to see

My heart so hidebound in her acts to thee?

 

Thou art a golden theme; but I am lean

A leaden orator upon the same.

Thy golden web excels my dozie beam

Whose linsy-wolsy loom deserves thy blame.

It’s all defiled, unbiased too by sin:

An hearty wish for thee’s scarce shot therein.

 

It pities me who pity cannot show

That such a worthy theme abused should be.

I am undone, unless thy pardons do

Undo my sin I did, undoing me.

My sins are great, and grievous ones, therefore

Carbuncle mountains can’t wipe out their score.

 

But thou, my Lord, does a free pardon bring.

Thou giv’st forgiveness: yet my heart through sin,

Hath naught but naught to file thy gift  up in.

An hurden haump doth chafe a silken skin.

Although I pardons beg, I scare can see,

When thou giv’st pardons, I give praise to thee.

 

O bad at best! What am I then at worst?

I want a pardon, and when pardon’d, want

A thankful heart: both which thou dost disbursed.

Giv’st both, or neither: for which Lord I pant.

Two such good things at once! Methinks I could

Avenge my heart, lest it should neither hold.

 

Lord tap mine eyes, seeing such grace in thee

So little doth affect my graceless soul.

And take my tears in lieu of thanks of me,

New make my heart: then take it for thy toll.

Thy pardons then will make my heart to sing

It Mictham-David: with sweet joy within.

 

 

The first stanza:

My noble Lord, thy nothing servant I

Am for thy sake out with my heart, that holds,

So little love for such a Lord: I cry

How should I be but angry thus to see

My heart so hidebound in her acts to thee?

Taylor meditates upon the proposition that Jesus has been exalted to give repentance and forgiveness of sins. The exaltation of Jesus comes upon the death and resurrection of Jesus, which comes upon the Incarnation of the Son of God. The reference to Acts comes from a sermon by Peter. The preceding verse in this sermon reads: “The God of our fathers raised Jesus, whom you killed by hanging him on a tree.”Acts 5:30 (ESV)

He begins with the contrast between Jesus – My Noble Lord; and himself, thy nothing servant. He condemns himself seeing himself so little moved when contemplating such a matter.  This condemnation for not responding appropriate to the knowledge of God’s love in Christ, is the primary concern of the poem. It is a bit of self-examination and self-rebuke, and thereon, a plea for pardon.

He prays for a heart that will weep that it cares so little for the goodness of God, and that such weeping will be received in sincere repentance. And then, having been forgiven anew for his sinful lack of a proper response to God’s goodness will become a present basis for rejoicing.

We see here, that those within the Puritan tradition placed a great emphasis not just upon intellectual apprehension but also upon due affections, that is, emotions and desires. As would be written by Jonathan Edwards in the next generation after Taylor:

True religion, in great part, consists in holy affections.

Jonathan Edwards, Religious Affections, ed. John E. Smith and Harry S. Stout, Revised edition., vol. 2, The Works of Jonathan Edwards (New Haven: Yale University Press, 2009), 95.

In line two, the accent must fall heavily upon the word “out”; it is an imperative:

Am for thy sake OUT with my heart, that holds,

Remove a heart that holds so little love.

Hidebound: this is an especially useful adjective to describe a heart which cannot fill with the expansive joy and love fit for the occasion. The flesh and skin have closed about his heart and it cannot swell with joy.

Second Stanza:

 Thou art a golden theme; but I am lean

A leaden orator upon the same.

Thy golden web excels my dozy beam

Whose linsy-wolsy loom deserves thy blame.

It’s all defiled, unbiased too by sin:

An hearty wish for thee’s scarce shot therein.

The word “lean” picks up the image of “hidebound” which originally referred to cattle whose skin had grown taunt over a famished body.

God is gold; I am lead. Gold is celestial; lead is dull and earth-bound. He cannot speak in a manner fit.

He then turns abruptly to the imagery of weaving.

The cloth to be woven is a “golden web”. However, the poem’s “loom deserves thy blame” – condemnation.

The beam of the loom is dozy (slow, stupid).

“Linsey-woolsey” was originally referred to a textile made of linen and wool. But it was used figuratively to refer to something as being confused or nonsensical. The poet’s loom – his poem – is all confused and not fit for the beautiful garment which should be produced.

Sin has infected the process and thus the poem won’t go correctly.

This is critical consideration in the poet’s argument. Sin is not merely some particular bad act; sin is also a disease, a corruption of his entire frame. He is not a man who occasionally sins. He is a man who is constantly affected by sin. The sin is so pervasive that it affects his ability to even express the appropriate emotions.

To make this seem not so strange, consider a circumstance where someone witnesses a great horror or tragedy and yet does not respond with appropriate emotions. They laugh at seeing a death; they feel no compassion at seeing great suffering. We consider such people to be “wrong.”

Taylor is saying: this theme is far greater than any other theme I could consider. This should bring me to soaring notes of golden joy. But sin has obscured my ability. Indeed, it is a sin for me to not even care rightly about this.

Third Stanza:

It pities me who pity cannot show

That such a worthy theme abused should be.

I am undone, unless thy pardons do

Undo my sin I did, undoing me.

My sins are great, and grievous ones, therefore

Carbuncle mountains can’t wipe out their score.

I need pity in my state; and yet, ironically, I do not express the right pity over such a thought, that Christ had died for me. I need pity from you God, because I am in sin that I do not have a heart which expresses pity as I should. Note in the first line that “pity” carries the accent, which throws great emphasis on the word:

it PITies ME WHO PITy cannot SHOW

I need pity, and in danger of judgment “I am undone”.

Here, the irony intensifies: Taylor begins to mediate upon the forgiveness of Christ. He see that he does not have the proper affections when considering the subject. He thus falls into new sin when contemplating the forgiveness of his sins, which necessitates the need for forgiveness again:

   Unless thy pardons do

Undo my sin I did

A carbuncle mountain would be an entire mountain of ruby. (See, e.g, Hawthorne, “The Great Carbuncle”; Fitzgeard, “A Diamond as Big as the Ritz.”) My sin is so great that nothing in creation can answer for their debt.

 

Fourth Stanza 

But thou, my Lord, does a free pardon bring.

Thou giv’st forgiveness: yet my heart through sin,

Hath naught but naught to file thy gift up in.

An hurden haump doth chafe a silken skin.

Although I pardons beg, I scare can see,

When thou giv’st pardons, I give praise to thee.

 The trouble becomes more acute because even though God does give forgiveness, the poet’s heart is not fit to receive forgiveness. He is a “nothing servant” with a “heart through sin, /Hath naught but naught”.

I was unable to find any use of the phrase “hurden haump” except in this poem. What we do know from context, it must be something which would ruin in the finest of things (silk would be extraordinary expensive and rare).

Finally, even though he is begging for pardon, he realizes his heart will still lack the praise which is due or the pardon received.

Fifth Stanza:

O bad at best! What am I then at worst?

I want a pardon, and when pardon’d, want

A thankful heart: both which thou dost disbursed.

Giv’st both, or neither: for which Lord I pant.

Two such good things at once! Methinks I could

Avenge my heart, lest it should neither hold.

At best, when contemplating this theme, I am “bad”. But what if I am at my worst? First, I want – lack – a pardon. I need a pardon. And then upon receiving the pardon I need, I “want” – lack – a heart which will express the thankfulness due. I can only have a thankful heart, if you God give it to me. Therefore, he prays for both a pardon for his sin and a heart which will express the proper thankfulness in response to the forgiveness.

But if his heart will not hold such pardon and joy, he will “avenge” himself upon it:

Methinks I could

Avenge my heart, lest it should neither hold.

 

Sixth Stanza:

Lord tap mine eyes, seeing such grace in thee

So little doth affect my graceless soul.

And take my tears in lieu of thanks of me,

New make my heart: then take it for thy toll.

Thy pardons then will make my heart to sing

It Mictham-David: with sweet joy within.

 

He end with a call to weep for his sin:

Lord tap mine eyes, seeing such grace in thee

So little doth affect my graceless soul.

“Tap mine eyes”, put a tap in my eyes to drain the tears in repentance for my sin.  This theme was taken up by Edwards (although I don’t have any knowledge that Edwards had ever seen Taylor’s poems; however, Taylor knew Edward’s father, thus there is a basis to see a continuity of thought):

 

True contrition may be known by the principle it arises from, and the effect it produces in the heart:

By the principle it arises from, and that is love to God and the Lord Jesus Christ. The sinner, thinking of the merciful nature of God, thinking of his great compassion and pity manifested to men, he sees that God is really exceeding merciful and compassionate. He wonders that God should so condescend to the children of men. He sees that really and truly God has shown an unparalleled goodness and a most sweet, condescending compassion in that act of sending his Son into the world. He admires the goodness of God herein; he wonders that so great and glorious a God should be so full of pity and compassion. What, the King of the Universe, the Infinite God, the Eternal Jehovah pity man at this rate?

Such thoughts as these make him to love God, and think him most excellent and lovely, that ever he should be so full of mercy and pity, that ever he should be so exceeding gracious; that ever so great a God, that has been so much affronted by proud worms, should be so full of goodness and astonishing clemency as to take pity on them, instead of punishing them, especially when he considers that he is one of those wretched rebels whom He so pitied. This makes him to love this so good God above all things in the world; his very soul is all drawn out: how doth it melt with such thoughts, how doth it flow in streams of love!

And then when he reflects on his sin, as [on] his vileness, on his disobedience to this so lovely God, his proud and contemptuous behavior towards him, how he dishonored him by his unreasonable, most ungrateful disobedience—that ever he should be so ungrateful and so vile: then what sorrow, what grief, what deep contrition follows! How doth he loathe himself; how is [he] angry with himself! See the motions that the penitent feels at this time excellently represented by the Apostle: 2 Cor. 7:11, “For behold this same thing, that ye sorrowed after a godly sort, what carefulness it wrought in you; yea, what clearing of yourselves; yea, what indignation; yea, what fear; yea, what vehement desire; yea, what zeal; yea, what revenge!”

I do not say that a true penitent’s thoughts always run exactly in this order, but I say that they are of this nature, and do arise from this principle.

Jonathan Edwards, “True Repentance Required,” in Sermons and Discourses, 1720–1723, ed. Wilson H. Kimnach and Harry S. Stout, vol. 10, The Works of Jonathan Edwards (New Haven; London: Yale University Press, 1992), 513–514.

He then proposes a solution to his trouble:

And take my tears in lieu of thanks of me,

New make my heart: then take it for thy toll.

First, God, take my tears of repentance, since I have not shown the joy which I should. Renew my heart:

Psalm 51:10–12 (ESV)

¹⁰          Create in me a clean heart, O God,

and renew a right spirit within me.

¹¹          Cast me not away from your presence,

and take not your Holy Spirit from me.

¹²          Restore to me the joy of your salvation,

and uphold me with a willing spirit.

 

Then, when I have wept for my sins, I will rejoice in my present forgiveness:

Observe, gospel-tears are not lost, they are seeds of comfort; while the penitent doth pour out tears, God pours in joy; if thou wouldst be cheerful, saith Chrysostom, be sad: Psal. 126:5. ‘They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.’ It was the end of Christ’s anointing and coming into the world, that he might comfort them that mourn, Isa. 61:3. Christ had the oil of gladness poured on him, as Chrysostom saith, that he might pour it on the mourner; well then might the apostle call it ‘a repentance not to be repented of, 2 Cor. 7:10. A man’s drunkenness is to be repented of, his uncleanness is to be repented of; but his repentance is never to be repented of, because it is the inlet of joy: ‘Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.’ Here is sweet fruit from a bitter stock: Christ caused the earthen vessels to be filled with water, and then turned the water into wine, John 2:9. So when the eye, that earthen vessel, hath been filled with water brim full, then Christ will turn the water of tears into the wine of joy. Holy mourning, saith St. Basil, is the seed out of which the flowers of eternal joy doth grow.

Thomas Watson, “Discourses upon Christ’s Sermon on the Mount,” in Discourses on Important and Interesting Subjects, Being the Select Works of the Rev. Thomas Watson, vol. 2 (Edinburgh; Glasgow: Blackie, Fullarton, & Co.; A. Fullarton & Co., 1829), 123–124.

A Michtam (or Miktam) is a title, probably a musical notation, in certain Psalms of David.